Thursday, November 03, 2011

Confession to make

Not sure if you all want to hear this or not.

It's nothing like, I killed 35 people & buried them in my grandparents old house's basement (the stench is from the dog they used to have...yea that's it...the dog!) or I used to dance on a pole for money & I went by the name of "Tuesday Tata's"...I was young, I need the money.

It's more along the lines of something I am ashamed of, as if the above things wouldn't be enough, again didn't do either of them.

I am ashamed of being divorced.
Whew I said it.
I feel like this, a lot:

If only I was that skinny.

Anywho, don't think that I wish I was still married to that person.
I don't.

For those that have known me "on line" for years or for those that know me in real life, know I was blindsided by the whole "I want a divorce" that he said.

Believe you me, he did me a huge favor b/c now I have a great guy & fabulous children!!!

It's just that I feel, even after all these years, that I failed.
Like if I had done this or that it wouldn't have happened.

I can't really explain it.
I don't like to say I'm divorced.

I know people are.
I know it's not considered a rare thing anymore.

I just can't explain it & I finally admitted yesterday to my coworker, who herself has been divorced.

Perhaps I'm just feeling sorry for myself...it is pms week or maybe I just need therapy...either way I wanted to confess.

So there ya have it!

1 comments:

MS Mom

( ) Internet Hug.

I have also been divorced. Remarried now for almost 8 years. After a long time of feeling inadequate, naive and just plain supid...I mean how did I manage to screw up?...someone finally told me "God sometimes brings the wrong ones into your life so when the right one finds you , you really know it and appreciate it." And that stayed with me. I am now on the new chapter of my life. I am no longer ashamed, not because "oh, everyone gets divorced" but because I tried, it didnt work and now my efforts go to something that DOES work, to someone who deserves it!