Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Condition known as Slobberitis

It's bad.
The condition my dh has.
I've never seen anything this severe in my life.
My dh suffers from Slobberitis.
He is onto Stage V.
I don't think there is a chance for recovery
BUT
I will secretly, my heart, hold out hope.

See I know he has this b/c of certain things his limbs are incapable of doing.
Like making the hamper.
It's a simple laundry basket that sits on the floor of our bedroom.
Inevitably his underwear never makes it in the basket.
It's always just shy of the hamper, laying helplessly on the floor right next to it.
I mean RIGHT next to it.
Obviously, Bobster is unable to life his leg any further up to get the underwear in the basket.

Of coure, there is the problem with his back & waist.
See he must bend at the waist to empty the bath water after Cheeks takes a bath.
Usually I have Cheeks pull the plug himself but Bobster doesn't want to overexert the poor child so he tries to do it himself.
Sadly, he can't seem to get quite bent over perfectly b/c when I go to take a shower, the water is still left in there.
I see it in there b/c Bobster's arms are incapable of pulling the shower curtain closed.

It's sad really.
I think Jerry Lewis is considering starting a telethon for those that suffer from Slobberitis.

The 11 yo is showing signs as well.
Take this weekend.
He took off his gray sweatshirt which promptly landed next to the toilet.
I asked him numerous times on Saturday to pick it up.
Then on Sunday.
Finally on Monday it was still sitting there so I threw it out.
Evidentally, if he can't bend to pick it up, how in the world would he lift his arms to put it on?

Unfortunately, all the Slobberitis sufferers in this household also can't take their dirty socks to the hamper.
They prefer to leave them in the living room.
Strewn about.
It's as if, the limbs allow them to take them off but suddenly become paralyzed if they have to remove them from the floor.
Again, the only thing I can do is throw them away.
It's going to be an awfully cold winter for a lot of toes around these here parts.

So tell me, do you have a loved one who suffers from Slobberitis?

2 comments:

Preppy Little Dress

Hilarious, I think my husband also suffers from Slobberitis! LOL!!

MS Mom

OmyGosh! This was hilarious. It's like I typed it myself! Except not the 11 year old, but a 12 year old. I too throw stuff out. They then scamper around 10 Ii have nothing to wear!?!?!" Hmmm....guess not.
I have tried the "if its not in the laundry basket it must be clean" method. So i put everything back in the dresser or hang it back in the closet. So funny to watch them sniff their shirts or socks and say "This smells funny, is it clean?" Well it wasnt in the laundry basket, so I guess it was clean. LMBO!!!