Real Talk with Cheeks

Having a 5 year old is new to me.

Having a 5 year old boy is a whole other ball game.

Take for instance, this conversation.

Scene: My bathroom, me, sitting on edge of tub running water for Cheeks bath. Him using the potty.

All of a sudden he slams the seat & lid down.

Looks at me & says:

"Mom, I almost slammed it on my penis"

Me:

"That's not good Cheeks, not at all. If that happens we have to go to the hospital"

Cheeks:

"Why? Will they give me a new one?"

Me:

"No, they don't make penises"

Cheeks:

"Do they only make them in adult sizes?"

Me:

"No, they just don't make them."

Cheeks:

"Are they out of them? Can they order them?"

Me:

"No, they don't make them like that.  If you slam the seat down, it will hurt for a long time"

Cheeks:

"Well can I get a toy penis & a toy butt?"

Me:

"Bobster! Where have you been taking this child?"

And, scene.

*I am sure some of the words in this blog will bring the nuts out of the woodwork to my blog...take heed, it's not that kind of blog...nothing to see here...go about your business*