Sunday, February 18, 2007

Do you ever......

feel like you are a doormat, that you get walked all over? Do you ever feel like you carry such a burden or that you are a burden? Do you ever just feel like you aren't important to the one person you should be important to? Do you feel disappointment in people? life? yourself?

Pretty much sums me up.

They have Extreme Makeover
They have Extreme Home Makeover.

Where is Extreme Life Makeover????? I need that.

I want to keep the same people in my life just change certain situations.
I want to be able to let the burden I feel fall off my shoulders (I haven't since I was a little girl, so I doubt 30 yrs later it will), I want to feel important to someone. I want to be put first, not told that something I really want isn't important at this time. I am sick of waiting patiently by the sidelines. It seems that's all I do. I wait, I feel less important, I feel disappointment. Yep. Where is that Ty Pennington with his extreme life makeover?

Sometimes I don't think people realize that what they say can hurt. Even if they are kidding. Or maybe it's what they don't say, that can hurt. Or what they say, then don't follow through with what they say.

Sure, I know I am guilty of saying something & hurting someone, or not saying something or worse, saying it & not following through but not following through is usually done on non-important stuff. Although that old adage stands true, what is one man's trash is another's treasure. So what is important to me, is not important to someone else.

So I wait.
Patiently.
Sadly.
Just wait.
Hear excuse after excuse.
Get told it's not important at this time.
Hmph.

5 comments:

OneScrappyChick

oh Meggers... this is why I loathe February so much. I feel in my own heart that not only is it the longest most miserable month (even though it's in fact the shortest).. but along with the dark miserable days.. my own soul becomes dark and miserable too. Everything seems so much more awful in February.

And sweetie I do know exactly what you are feeling.. I went through a simmilar period.. after both of my own children were born (and one lasted about a year after my daughter was born). I don't know how we made it through that.. but in my own heart.. I knew that I wanted us to work bad enough to get through the dark parts. But when you are in the middle of it all.. it sucks. Bad.

You are important to us.. .and we value you. I know it's not what you need right now... but maybe it will help just a little. ((hugs))

As for long standing burdens... I can't help you with that. I carry bagage so old and so heavy I am the last person who should offer advice on this.

skrpndiva

Oh Meghan, my heart is just breaking for you because I've been there. I could tell you stories that would probably make you cringe about my life.

I don't know what to tell you Hon to make it better. All I can is hang in there and know that there are those out here, that have never even met you face to face, but have known you for years and we love you and are here for you as much as we can be!

Tara O'Rourke

Meghan....I know I am not much but I TREASURE you...more than you will ever know. My friend with the flaming gorgeous red hair and the new beautiful baby-HUGS!!!!!!

Elizabeth

Oh Meghan, I'm so sorry you're feeling so despairing. Let's just say I know precisely what you feel like - Hon, we all have burdens and baggage. Every single person has it. And the only way I know to help you deal with yours is honestly (even if only to yourself and someone close you trust) and to remember YOUR PERSONAL VALUE.

In those terms, you are the number one most important person. Think of it this way - Ethan looks to you for everything. You are the most important person in his life. Because mommy's and their boys have a very special bond, you will always be the most important person in his life because you ARE a great mommy.

No one can take your self worth and your self respect unless you allow them to so girl, put your foot down and let them all know you ARE valuable, your thoughts and ideas DO matter, the things you would like to participate in and just as viable and important as anything they want to do. The choice is now theirs - they can CHOOSE to do something you would like to do WITH you and Ethan, OR they can choose not to but ultimately, they will be the ones who lose.

You are one terrific gal with great ideas and are important. If they can't see that, it's only sad... Don't let anyone take you away from you girl.

Chin up sugar (and remember - post partum blues can bug you for about two years so please, don't hesitate to go back on your meds - it doesn't make you a weak person. It makes you stronger knowing you are aware of what ever changes you need to make to be the best person and mommy you can be for YOU and Ethan.)

We're here for you!

Sign me -
"Been There, Done That, Got the Ticket Stubs and the med bottle to prove it" LOL

Hugs,
Lissa

RHV

Hey! That would make a great show... when you line it up... give me a call! =)

Sorry you were feeling down, hopefully your spirits have been lifted by your great friends above!