Thursday, February 15, 2007

Troubled Thursday

You know, I don't know how many people read my blog nor do I know who reads it on a regular basis. So I am not sure who knew & who didn't that I was pregnant. Yep. I found out in Jan. While shocked & overwhelmed, I was happy.

Sadly, I miscarried. I dealt with in a pretty good way & thought I was doing ok with it. The pass few nights, after I put Cheekers to bed & it's just me, I relax, surf some blogs & my mind wanders to the fact that I lost a baby. I think "Would it have been a girl? a boy?" I think about how the kids would have hopefully been close, I think about Cheeks helping his little bro or sister with stuff. It might be stupid to think of what isn't but I can't help it. I am pretty upbeat about things (at least I have been trying) but I think it's starting to bother me. I want more kids & I had the opportunity to go for it this pass weekend but I told the Bobster I wasn't ready to experience what I had just had happen again. He respected it & said he understood. So I wonder, was that it? Was this lost pregnancy my last chance for another baby? I'm not getting younger & I know age plays a factor in the health of a fetus, so I think if we want one more child I think we need to go for it soon. There are cons & pros with the pregnancy but I would do it again! So will I have the chance again? I don't know but for now I am really missing a baby I didn't get a chance to know.

12 comments:

Quawana

OH Meghan my heart goes out to you. I don't know how I missed you were preggy again. I don't know if you know I was 20 weeks when I was told I had to terminate my pregnancy because the baby stopped developing prior to 5 weeks. It is a very hard thing for some to deal with. Make sure you take some time to really grieve and heal. Turn to the Lord and let him help heal you. Then by all means TRY TRY TRY AGAIN!!!

OneScrappyChick

oh Meggers... it's all a natural part of the grieving process.... we love you girlfriend. Things will work out.

Holly

Oh, sweetheart! I am so sorry! It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through, so I know the pain.

(((HUGS)))

Kim - ScrapToMyLu

Meghan, I'm sorry. This can't be easy for any woman. Take time to mourn your loss. If anything, it confirmed your desire to have more children. You are not too old. Go for it.

Anonymous

So sorry to hear about your loss Meghan. I've had friends lose children early and late in pregnancy and they have each handled it differently. Deal with your pain. Give yourself time. And by all means have more children if that is what you want. We are hear for you. Ericka SJScrapers!

Diana

Girl, I'm so sorry to read this...it is so normal to wonder and grieve over what might have been...I think you are wise to wait a bit to just deal before trying again....I'm sure it will happen for you, but for now just let yourself feel what YOU feel....and don't let other people tell you how to feel.....HUGS!

Awesome Abby

WOW. The thing thta helped me when I miscarried was my chiropractor telling me that it was God's way of letting me know that all was not right with my body and with my baby....my baby was better off with God than it would have been here on this earth, because it wouldn't have been born perfectly. (her words were much more elaborate) It WILL get better over time....and you are NOT too old. I agree with Kim...now you know that you do indeed want more kiddos...go for it. I think it will help ease your pain...it did for me.
XOXOXOXO

skrpndiva

Meghan,
I had no idea that you were pregnant again and I read your blog most every day. I'm so sorry for your loss and I know that eventually you will be better able to handle this. Right now it's just so raw.

Please don't let age worry you. You don't need to worry about that right now!

My thoughts are with you. Please turn to God on this one. He'll help!

Jodi

I am so sorry hun that you lost your baby. I understand that pain very well. Take all the time you need to grieve. There is no ceratin way to grieve or a time limit.

XOXOXOXO

Julie

Oh Meghan I am so sorry! I will keep you in my prayers hun! (((gentle hugs)))

Julie

Oh Meghan I am so sorry!! I will keep you in my prayers, I didn't know. (((gentle hugs)))

Sarah

I just read this. I am so sorry, Meghan. Please make sure to take time for yourself.

I am really glad Cheekers surgery went so well.

((HUGS))